Cup of Jo

Jello,

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, I sure did. :) But that is for a later post, because I wanted to tell you about something that holds much more importance than the state of my celebration. That didn't make sense, but oh well. I will leave it up to you for interpretation. I trust you.

Anyway, last night, I was talking to my mom before she went to bed. We were laying on her bed and talking about the differences between her side and my dad's side of the family. We talked about how it seems that all families on my dad's side only come together because of my grandparents. Each family seems to feel like the odd family out. And maybe they don't, (my mom thinks they do), but I feel like the odd cousin out for sure. My brothers and I are probably going to always be the odd kids out because we won't ever take part in their drinking or cussing or whatever. (Not that I think drinking is necessarily wrong, but it's in my bloodline to become an alcholic...and become one quickly).
Nevertheless, our conversation continued on the subject of how my cousins on my dad's side are all at different stages in their lives than we are (as the youngest set of cousins), and how most are in serious relationships, married, having kids, or have many kids. And how soon, me and my brothers will be in the same situation. My cousins on the other side are closer to our age and so we'll most likely be in the same stages in a relatively close period of time.

Right now, that stage is college student, figuring out what we're doing, and going through it together. I dread getting any older and having to take on more responsibilities, well not really dread, I'm just plain scared of it.
And to tell you the truth, when my mom and I were talking about what's coming next, I really wanted to cry. I didn't for the sheer fact that I'd feel like a moron, but really, I don't like to think about it, talk about it, or anything of the sort.
Now dont't get me wrong, I'm excited to continue this adventure of life, continue learning and growing, to someday be with Jesus, but I just don't feel ready.

And through out this week, as I've been thinking about topics that are encompassed in thinking about the future, I can't help but hear God's whisper. And he's whispering something that I know already, but I need to be constantly reminded of.

I don't know if you have ever read about Anne Frank. Her family housed Jews during the time period of Hitler. One day she was going to try and escape on a train and she asked her father when he was going to give her the train ticket that she needed. And her father replied, "I will give you what you need, when you need it."
She took that statement at face value when she first heard it, but she later saw that God works in the same way as her father did that day.

When I get nervous and start thinking too hard or worrying too much about the future, most of the time, my main concern is, "I'm not ready for this" or "I don't have the courage or the strength to do this". I've been feeling that way about going out of state for college and figuring out a career among other things. And each time, God has been faithful to say, "I will give you what you need, when you need it. I will provide, I will be your strength, I will hold your hand, I will always be with you".
Each time, his voice comforts me even more than my beloved mother's voice could. I have to trust in him.

Back to last night, I was worrying again, and God spoke to me four times in a row all through text and his word. I opened my prayer journal, and there are verses at the bottom of each page and on dividing pages as well. I opened it to a random spot about to search for where I last left of, and the verse on the dividing page was Ephesians 3:20-21.

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen".

And that verse was such a comfort. I accidentally flipped to that page, but it wasn't an accident to the Lord. I wrote out my prayer and opened to Psalms, because I read a Psalm a night. Right now I'm at chapter 95, but my Bible opened to Psalms 16. Among other comforting verses, Ps 16:11 was underlined. It says,

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore".

I was so astounded at God's ability to speak when and how he likes, that I read the chapter and then went on to my normal reading. After I read chapter 95, I flipped over to the new testament, I'm in Matthew, but I landed in Acts 7, and verses 3 and 9 were underlined. They are as follows.

"and said to him, 'Go out from your land and from your kindred and go into the land that I will show you"

The only portion underlined in verse 3 was, "I will show you". By the way, Acts 7 is Stephen's last speech, and he is referencing Abraham's trust in God. Verse 9:

"And the patriarchs, jealous of Joseph, sold him into Egypt; but God was with him"

Again, the only part underlined, "God was with him".
God is so faithful to speak when you listen. It was awesome. So pressed on to Matthew chapter 24, but chapter 23:9-10 really stuck out, and they were underlined. I read that verse and it said,

"And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ".

It's just been really comforting, because I haven't clearly heard God and known for sure that it was him in a while, but I did last night and this past week. It was so nice.
He truly is my Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, Eternal Father, and Mighty God.
You are in my prayers.

Go see Sherlock Holmes

♥